Mental Health / Ramblings

…And A Happy New Year

Hi! Remember me? Long time, no speak! Soooo… 2020, eh?

There’s much to catch up on and much to discuss, but I want to start by saying that I hope that despite whatever tier you’re stuck in, you’re doing well and managing to find some form of Christmas cheer!

Before I get into anything, I want to give a major shout-out to my darling mother. As I mentioned earlier in the year, my mother is a carer at a home for elderly and has worked tirelessly, sweating under layers of PPE, throughout the pandemic. Unfortunately, she tested positive for COVID at the start of this month along with the majority of the carers at her workplace. It’s been scary past few weeks considering the health issues she already has, but I’m very thankful that it was only a mild case! I truly wouldn’t have made it through 2020 without her strength, resilience and love.

Even though this year has indeed been very bleak and depressing, I promise I’m not going to spend an entire post dwelling on the negatives. I’ve done a lot of that over the years 😉 and, well, I have so much to be thankful for this year! It’s been one of the best years not just professionally with all the exciting projects I’ve worked on and am currently working on, but I’ve also made so much personal progress.

oversize blazer (XXS), £68 & skirt (XXS), £35 @ motel rocks

I’d like to think 2020 has made me a stronger person. My anxiety and depression dominated the first half of the year and I could honestly sing the praises of therapy and how important it is for hours on end. Antidepressants sucked the life out of me in 2019 to the point where I was just groggy, tired and barely capable of functioning. If medication works for you then that’s fantastic, but I’m happy to no longer be on mirtazapine and to have found other ways to deal with my anxiety and emotions. Journo side note: if anyone wants to talk to me about their experience with antidepressants for an article, hmu! My DMs and work email are open, can be anonymous, yadda yadda yadda…

From March to December, a lot happened that required me getting myself together and not being an anxious mess. Despite appearances and all the jokes I make about being a narcissist, the reality couldn’t be further and a lot of the pandemic was spent working on my low self-esteem, creating confidence in myself that I wasn’t utterly useless, finding ways to be stronger in setting boundaries and letting go of people who aren’t benefiting my life in a positive way. In short, my therapist taught me how to be a bit more of a frosty bad bitch. This means I now have the personality to match my resting bitch face!

In 2020, I started a new PR role after a string of freelance gigs, worked on a documentary, a hearing date was set for the sexual assault attack that I went through at university last year which not only opened my eyes to the horrible injustices victims face throughout the reporting process, but it allowed me to produce my first serious non-Tinder piece as a journalist. My family can finally be proud of me covering hard-hitting topics and not just my poor romantic decisions! I’ve got a few other investigative pieces in the pipeline that I can hopefully talk more about and share soon! 🤞🏼

Speaking of boundaries, if you feel like you’ve been seeing and hearing less and less of me over the course of the year, I hope this explains why. Global pandemic aside, it’s been hectic. There have been endless Zoom calls, stressy tears, and Taylor Swift dropped two albums that absolutely demanded my attention.

I also needed to step back from social media for my sanity. I still use my accounts to source leads and case studies for work and to support my pals who have built their careers around influencing, but the pressure I’ve felt over the years to keep up and conform to the beauty standards set by people with a cosmetic surgeon on speed dial just became far too draining. I’m a complete nerd so it’s never been of interest of me to compete with derrière pics or pouty-lipped selfies and I don’t like how social media makes you feel like you have to. All this came to a head recently with some bizarre DMs (what’s new?) that made me reconsider my presence on social media. I’m still around and you’ll (unfortunately) still see my face, but maybe on a less frequent basis than before. I recommend keeping up with me on Twitter for television musings and work.

Because of this, I won’t promise a slew of content here for 2021 because I truly don’t know what the year holds just yet or how swept up I’ll be with work. However, I can tease a little Tinder Travels 2.0: Swiss Edition… Seriously, there needs to be someone at Heathrow to help me question my life choices! Even if posts are sparse at times, I will always find a way to still deliver a dose of that signature ‘men are trash / learn from my mistakes’ content, don’t you worry!

Will there be book reviews? I sure hope so! I had a lot of book mail waiting for me in the Wales house to catch up on so we’ll see how badly Bristol marred my relationship with reading!

To quote a business email I received recently: ‘I hope you’re staying positive and testing negative’ this Christmas. It’s an interesting time of year regardless of COVID and the ever-changing tier system. For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year and for others, it can be tough. Whichever one it is for you, I am sending good thoughts and warm hugs. If you’re alone and in need of a festive cheer up, I heartily recommend giving the sitcom Ghosts a binge just in time for the Christmas special on Wednesday evening!

Stay safe and see you in 2021!

Useful helplines open over Christmas:

NHS Volunteer Responders –  0808 196 3646
NSPCC – 0808 800 5000
Childline – 0800 1111
Samaritans – 116 123
Shout – Text 85258
Mind  –  0300 123 3393
No Panic  –  0300 7729844
Campaign Against Living Miserably  –  0800 58 58 58
Drinkline – 0300 123 1110
Talk to Frank – 0300 123 6600
National Debtline  –  0808 808 4000
Shelter  –  0808 800 4444
National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247
National Rape Crisis Helpline  –  0808 802 9999
Cruse Bereavement Care – 0808 808 1677
Macmillan Cancer Support  –   0808 808 00 00
Age UK – 0800 055 6112
The Silver Line – 0800 4 70 80 90


  • Wughangar
    December 21, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    Proud of you for beating depression ❤️❤️ Happy holidays

  • Ashli Ferguson
    December 21, 2020 at 9:21 pm

    I love your Christmas tree and CONGRATULATIONS on your PR job! That’s amazing!! Such a positive thing to come out of this weird year!


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