Straight Floating On A Boat

Another day, another travel post. We essentially wrapped up our Thailand travels with a trip to the Phi Phi Islands. Now, this was familiar territory for Tinder Boy as he’d visited previously before and I think I can safely vouch that he is a semi-decent tour guide when it comes to Asia. Maybe he could make a career out of it, match him on Tinder and make a booking, Bris gals!

Fun fact about me: I don’t swim. Well, I can’t swim. It’s just one of those life skills that I never bothered to acquire because to be frankly honest, I was too busy reciting and committing Shakespearean sonnets to memory. Also, as I mentioned in my last ‘Tinder Travels‘ post, I am deathly afraid of water. On paper, Phi Phi shaped up to be my worst nightmare. Visually, however, it was gorgeous.

i’m the king of the world on a boat like leo. if you’re on the shore, then you’re sho’ not me-oh.

You know what, I have to give credit where credit is due and say that, given my lack of acquatic skill, Tinder Boy looked after me really well. Unfortunately, with Phi Phi, the most efficient way to get around is by taxi boat which sounds fine until you have to account for getting in and out of the boat.

Like a knight in pink swim shorts, Tinder Boy did ensure a somewhat graceful entrance and exit for myself by hoisting me in and out. I am super grateful because there was no way this clumsy five feet swimsuit-clad mess was going to do it without breaking a leg. I mean, have you seen the bruises on my legs from the many slips and tumbles I’d taken? One could say he quite literally swept me off my feet. Ah, modern day romance.

With the digits of a driver already secured from his previous trip, we took to the sea to do some sightseeing. You’re going to absolute hate me when I tell you that I can’t really remember the exact names of the certain parts we visited and not because Tinder Boy was slacking in his duties, I do recall him doing some extremely informative explaining of significant spots, but I was too busy being in awe of how beautiful the islands were and focusing on looking nonchalant whilst trying not to fall in the clear, blue ocean. Seriously though, I’ve never seen water that blue up close! The Thames is quaking.

THE SEA AND STEVIE NICKS:

Again, I feel like I have to continually put a disclaimer and make my apologies earlier. Phi Phi was another one of those destinations where a lot of my content largely revolves around and/or features my blonde-haired companion.

Given the animosity between us following our return, Tinder Boy and I haven’t really been in contact all that much. I also sincerely doubt he has any decent visual content of me solo that he could contribute to the posts in order to minimise his face having to feature so prominently, but on the off chance that he does – you know how to reach me, hun! Especially with the ones I’m also in and he just so happens to be next to me, it’s a whole ordeal having to worry about cropping, maintaing the quality, and in the end, it would just look weird.

So, Tinder Boy, I profusely apologise for attaching your face to these “uninteresting” posts, but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do in order to ensure premimum blog content. Also, take it as a compliment that I was so into you that I was happy snapping as much as I could of you. At the very least, you’ve now got some fire Tinder photos out of it, eh?

Naturally, we did the most touristy thing you could possibly do in Phi Phi and that was visiting Monkey Beach, a small cove located on a peninsula on Koh Phi Phi Don, the larger of the two main Phi Phi Islands.

It was… an experience. I mean, it was quite crowded and there were actually very few monkeys. We may have seen more just walking around the mainland than on the beach. I don’t condone Tinder Boy’s behaviour in feeding the monkeys a couple of cans of beer. It isn’t the most ecological of acts. Apparently, in the past you weren’t allowed to go on the beach, but now it’s open. However, I’ve seen many TripAdvisor reviewers highlighting the monkeys aggressive attitude, mentioning that they’ve been bitten by the monkeys and warning to get your vaccines up to date if you’re visiting as they’re known to carry rabies – the monkeys, not the reviewers! Unless they got bit by a monkey, then the reviewers might also be carrying rabies…. Anyway…

We managed to leave Monkey Beach unscatched, hopping back on our boat and taking to the seas once more…

We continued to sail around for a bit, Tinder Boy pointing out various destinations and attaching a fun fact or two. As you can see, we tried in vain to get a semi-decent selfie of us enjoying the high seas, frolicking about with the wind in our hair. I sincerely hope you’re enjoying all the natural straight haired Sam in these travels posts. It’s horrendous so enjoy it while it lasts! I am so thankful to be back in Blighty with adequate plug sockets for my curling iron.

We docked somewhere for a little bit for a breather and to soak in the sun. Ever the mermaid, Tinder Boy took a dip in the sea while I munched on some Lays and took in the stunning sights before me – by that I mean the limestone cliffs, not Tinder Boy floundering in the ocean attempting a James Bond moment. Although, I wasn’t complaining about that being in my eyeline either.

Our boat driver was really eager to get a photo of us in front of this rock because it looks like a fish. That’s it. That’s the caption. I do have to give kudos though because he took some decent photos of me and Tinder Boy with said rock. The rest have been omitted from the post by yours truly because they are very couple-y, smoochy smoochy, all that sickening lovey-dovey stuff.

So, just enjoy this photo of me and Tinder Boy staring deep into each other’s sunglasses and grinning. Judging by my face, I think I’m just inwardly praying that a) our driver didn’t drop my new phone and b) that he was a marginally better photographer than good ol’ Tinder Boy. And guess what? He was!

Last time Tinder Boy was in Phi Phi, he allegedly watched the sun set alone. I don’t know how inclined I am to believe that given his prowess and general inability to keep it in his pants, but we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for this post and romance’s sake.

We passed the time before sunset by indulging ourselves in a brief pit-stop at Holiday Inn Resort Phi Phi Island and wolfing down an all day breakfast.

And then, the sun started to go down and it was astonishing…


I keep getting emotional writing these posts and I absolutely do not approve of it. I swear, I’m getting more soft in my old age. I think it’s perhaps because much like dancing on a rooftop overlooking the city lights of Bangkok, watching the sun set on a boat with a cute boy is one of those activities that I believed only existed in movies and in my wildest dreams.

I guess that’s why I’m so sad whenever I relive it. Because it was all so picturesque and romantic, and I was so starry-eyed. I just wish there was a happier ending to it all. I wish I could tell you in these blog posts that he’s so lovely and we’re doing delightful. I almost feel apologetic that I can’t, but that’s life. 🤷

In a shocking departure from my Barcelona post, I’ve barely mentioned our somewhat adequate Phi Phi abode. Perhaps it’s because I got used to the dizzying luxury of the Lebua or maybe it’s because I am a bit of a fussy bitch, but I just wasn’t a huge fan of Viking Nature Resort.

It does boast a private beach which is swimmable the entire day and is very idyllic, but having to walk up steep steps and through a jungle every single time we wanted to get to and from our little shack got tiring very quickly. Also, in my TripAdvisor hunt, I saw a review which featured a photo of a green viper they’d found camoflauged in the jungle part where guests pass to get to their rooms. Safe to say, I was horrified.

Thankfully, the only thing that bit me during our stay were, what I can only assume, a million mosquitos. Out of all the locations we’d hit up, it was Phi Phi where my skin finally became the feeding zone for some bugs. I’d been expecting it, but it still annoyed me nonetheless. Especially when one of them bit me on the tip of my nose, rendering me Rudolph for the rest of the trip.

THE BED AT VIKING NATURE RESORT:

For somewhere in the middle of nowhere, I was rather amazed by the excellent wifi reception that they had. So, even if the staff were largely lacklustre and didn’t seem to offer much reassurance in the case of an emergency (there’s no boats in the night, you can walk 30 mins to the hospital…or die. You’ll likely die), that was a bonus.

In the wee hours, I woke to a very loud rumbling and no, it wasn’t Tinder Boy’s snoring. Turns out, while we’d be snoozing, Zeus had come out to play with all the theatrics. Add watching a tropical storm with a cute boy at midnight to the list of endless dream-like experiences!

ZEUS OUT IN FULL FORCE:

See you next time for a post about our brief time in Malaysia!

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